


Broken Boys

by Antisociallilbrat



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Beverly Marsh Knows Everything, Character Study, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, No Dialogue, Not Beta Read, Unrequited Love, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:01:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24708748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antisociallilbrat/pseuds/Antisociallilbrat
Summary: Beverly has always watched her friends closely, and eventually she realizes something about the original four. Something that breaks her heart to know.
Relationships: Bill Denbrough/Eddie Kaspbrak, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris
Comments: 3
Kudos: 68





	Broken Boys

**Author's Note:**

> I was feeling sad so I wrote this.

Beverly watches her broken boys. 

Maybe it's because she’s a girl and can naturally just pick up on things like this, or maybe it’s because she knows what it’s like to feel such a deep emotional pain.

The boys like to say she knows everything, and they’re right in a way, she does know some things. She knows things that would kill them if they knew their secret was found out. She knows things that they’ll go to the grave hiding, never letting their secrets see the light of day. 

That’s because she watches them. She sees what Ben and Mike don’t, when she looks at Stan, Richie, Eddie, and Bill. It took her awhile to realize what was happening full circle, a lot of discreet watching of their interactions. Once seen though, she feels like it blares out like a horn around the four boys, demanding everyone’s attention. She doesn’t understand how Ben and Mike can be so oblivious to it.

There’s a reason the four boys are targets for cruel homophobic jokes at school. They’re all queer, even if they don’t want to admit it to themselves. 

Stan was the first one she noticed. 

Richie and Stan had always been best friends, and on the surface level no would second guess their interactions. But Bev knows better. She sees how Stan's eyes linger on Richie, how his touches towards the boy always linger longer then what would be considered friendly.

Stan is always ready with a deadpan quip back to Richie’s joke, and the look of happiness, no matter how hard he tries to hide it, he gets when he’s the one to make Richie laugh. Stan doesn’t like people touching him, but Richie always seems to be the exception. When Richie throws an arm around Stan’s shoulders, she sees the fondness in his eye roll. She hears the laughter behind his “Beep beep Richie.” 

She sees how Stan, in his own way, is constantly striving to get Richie’s attention on him. To get Richie to notice him, to look at him. Trying to get Richie to look at Stan the same way Richie looks at Eddie. 

The pain in Stan’s eyes is apparent to her when Richie’s attention, most of the time, is solely on their little hypochondriac. Her heart hurts for him. 

Richie was a little more obvious, and in retrospect she should’ve seen his secret first. He’s always been loud and rough, but never towards Eddie. He’s softer towards the boy. His personality is still there, he’s still Richie, but just kinder towards Eddie. 

Bev sees how Richie’s eyes light up behind his magnified lenses when Eddie crawls into the hammock with him. How bright Richie’s smile is when Eddie is fussing over him because Richie just did something stupid and got himself hurt. Richie basks in Eddie’s attention. Richie is always at Eddie’s side the moment he’s in distress, always trying to protect him in any way he can. Can’t everyone else see that Richie would practically die for Eddie?

All of those “your mom” jokes are Richie’s own love languages for the shorter boy. They’re all rouses to get Eddie to focus all his attention on Richie. But Richie doesn’t stand a chance for that attention when Bill is in the room. Bill always holds all of Eddie’s attention when he’s present. 

It kills her to watch Richie deflate and try to hide his sadness when Eddie asks for Bill’s opinion over Richie’s or when Eddie will immediately leave their hammock to go sit by Bill when he enters the club house. At least Richie knows how Stan feels.

It took her a minute to see Eddie’s secret. It’s not because he’s particularly good at hiding it, it’s because she doesn’t think he knows it himself. That’s something for him to realize on his own one day. To see that he doesn’t just look up to Bill like an older brother, that he doesn’t just love Bill like you would love your family.

Because if he thought of Bill as family, then he wouldn’t look at him like that, like Bill hung the stars just for him. His face wouldn’t get all red when Bill was giving him his undivided attention, he wouldn’t sputter when Bill was looking at him like he was the only person in the room. She can see how excited Eddie gets when Bill tells him the simplest “G-good job Eddie.” Hell, Eddie doesn’t even get mad when Bill call’s him “Eds.”

Eddie loves Bill, even if he doesn’t know it yet. Even if he can’t accept it right now. Maybe one day Eddie will realize why he strives to please Bill in any way, why he seems overjoyed after interacting with Bill. If only Bill acted the same towards Eddie, maybe Eddie could come to that conclusion faster than living in confused ignorance. 

She knows that won’t happen anytime soon though, as Bill looks like he only has eyes for their quite birdboy. Something none of the other losers pick up on, even poor Eddie who probably knows Bill best. Her heart breaks for Eddie all the same, just like it does for Stan and Richie.

Their fearless leader was the hardest one for her to crack. While they shared their own puppy love back in the day, that way Bill ever looked at her pales in comparison to the way he looks at Stan. Bill’s affection is much more delicate towards him, not like how the other boys are. His touches towards Stan are always soft, as almost they’re questions he doesn’t want the answers too. 

The only reason she noticed Bill’s secret was because of how he changed towards Stan after that awful summer. At first she thought it was just because Bill felt guilty for what happened to Stan down there, a very reasonable assumption. She proved herself wrong though when she started seeing the way Bill took every opportunity to hold Stan close, to touch the boy. He seemed scared that Stan was just going to disappear into thin air, and he desperately tried to keep Stan around him. Whenever Bill shows up in the room, she sees how his eyes instantly scan it for him, and the relief that floods them when the boy in question is located. She can feel the apprehension that radiates from him when Stan isn’t there, why doesn’t it suffocate everyone else like it does her?

Bill hides his hurt the best out of the four. Bill has mastered a neutral look when Stan finally joins their group and his attention is immediately on their obnoxious curly hair friend, when Bill has been the one worried about him. Not Richie. Like the others, her heart bleeds for Bill too.

She has a hint that maybe the four of them are at least subconsciously aware of their predicament. Maybe that’s why they remain silent, why their secrets stay buried in the closet. If one of them was to confess, it would only end in pain for all of them. They seem content to remain blissful silence, endure their sufferings alone. So she leaves them be.

Beverly wonders if one day they’ll ever be anything more than broken boys.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it, thanks for reading!


End file.
